Girl School for Grownups

Like having a big sister, but better because I can't boss you around!

Faking it

on November 12, 2014

searchHere are some quick fixes I have learned throughout the years for some common problems. Listen up, kids — I’m offering 53 years worth of wisdom on some important topics!

  • Faking a clean house — spray window cleaner on a paper towel and wipe down the faucet, the fridge handles, and anything that should be shiny but isn’t. Your house will smell clean and this minute or two of effort will go a long way. If you live in a child-free abode, you could consider greeting your significant other at the door wearing only an apron. This doesn’t get the house clean, but it means they won’t be looking at anything but you.
  • Looking rested when you’re exhausted — Mascara and blush, baby! I’m partial to Nars Orgasm (it’s a color) for a fresh rested happy look.
  • Looking rested when you’re exhausted (the higher cost, higher commitment version) — tattooed eyeliner. It’s been almost 3 years since I got this and I love it! For one thing, I feel edgy because I have a tattoo, and for another thing, as my eyesight goes to shit, it doesn’t matter because I don’t have to attempt to put on eyeliner any more.
  • Faking thin — self-tanner. I hate for reals tanning (in the real sun or in tanning beds) because it ages you like crazy, and now that someone I love is gone from skin cancer, I hate it even more. But how did I not know about self-tanners until now? Wait — I’ve known about them, but they all smell like shit. I finally found one that doesn’t smell bad, and all I can say is IT’S ABOUT TIME! It’s called Viva Liberata.

Have a wonderful Wednesday!

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