Girl School for Grownups

Like having a big sister, but better because I can't boss you around!

Faking it

searchHere are some quick fixes I have learned throughout the years for some common problems. Listen up, kids — I’m offering 53 years worth of wisdom on some important topics!

  • Faking a clean house — spray window cleaner on a paper towel and wipe down the faucet, the fridge handles, and anything that should be shiny but isn’t. Your house will smell clean and this minute or two of effort will go a long way. If you live in a child-free abode, you could consider greeting your significant other at the door wearing only an apron. This doesn’t get the house clean, but it means they won’t be looking at anything but you.
  • Looking rested when you’re exhausted — Mascara and blush, baby! I’m partial to Nars Orgasm (it’s a color) for a fresh rested happy look.
  • Looking rested when you’re exhausted (the higher cost, higher commitment version) — tattooed eyeliner. It’s been almost 3 years since I got this and I love it! For one thing, I feel edgy because I have a tattoo, and for another thing, as my eyesight goes to shit, it doesn’t matter because I don’t have to attempt to put on eyeliner any more.
  • Faking thin — self-tanner. I hate for reals tanning (in the real sun or in tanning beds) because it ages you like crazy, and now that someone I love is gone from skin cancer, I hate it even more. But how did I not know about self-tanners until now? Wait — I’ve known about them, but they all smell like shit. I finally found one that doesn’t smell bad, and all I can say is IT’S ABOUT TIME! It’s called Viva Liberata.

Have a wonderful Wednesday!

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From the heart

When I was growing up, I desperately wanted a big brother. The thought was that he could introduce me to his cute friends and I could date them! But do you know what I could have really used? A big sister. But maybe not an actual real big sister, because real people have their own real people issues. But an idealized big sister who could gently guide me through all the twists and turns of growing up, and could help me learn from her mistakes. Someone whose feedback I could trust and who would encourage me when life felt oh-so-tough, as it often does.

As a newly married girl, I would joke with my husband, saying “oh, they teach you this stuff in girl school and that’s why you don’t know it!” (Tim grew up in a household with no sisters, so there are lots of girl things that were new to him.) This line could come up when I was refolding napkins before having people over for dinner, or … oh, I can’t remember other instances, but it’s been part of our lexicon for years now.

This blog is a combination of these two ideas. My hope is that Girl School for Grownups will be a source of enlightenment and encouragement, where no topic is off limits. The subjects will range from serious (I’ve got some real life experience with depression and can share strategies that have worked for me) to silly (why having a collection is so much fun) and all points in between (let’s talk desert island beauty products!).

But here’s my big concern: what if this comes across like I’m a big know-it-all? So from the heart, please know that I want to share what I’ve learned so that your life can be better. And a valuable lesson that I keep re-learning is that what other people think of me is none of my business. So perhaps this will seem like shameless self-promotion to some. But that’s a risk I’m willing to take in order to reach those for whom this works.

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